Golf is humanity spoiled.

I hate golf. I don’t have a lot of love for golfers, either. Weird, since I love the movie Caddyshack.

It goes back to 1985. That’s when I saw The Goonies in the theater for the first time. It’s one of my earliest memories (I was four at the time). And I developed a deep hatred for those evil developers, the ones trying to tear down all those awesome houses just to build a golf course. Scumbags. Of course, it could be argued that without the developers, there’s be no movie. I have no response to that.

As I got older, I started having this daydream about buying a failing country club. You know, one that’s in danger of shutting down. All the old bastards that played there would be so happy they weren’t losing their golf course. Then, after I bought it, I’d throw a big party, invite all the members, and announce that golf will be banned on my property henceforth. Just to see the look on their faces. Then I’d turn the place into a big playground or something.

Golf is so stupid. But don’t worry, if you’re a golfer and you’re reading this, I’m not talking about you.


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