What was the appeal of 1996’s ‘Duke Nukem 3D’? Was it that there were relatively few first-person shooters out, and ‘Duke 3D’ was the only one with boobs? Was it purely the novelty of it, or was it actually an excellent, fun game?
To find out, after playing a bit of ‘Duke Nukem Forever,’ I fired up my copy of ‘Duke 3d.’ And you know what? It still works.
Which is more than I can say for ‘Duke Nukem Forever.’ Jeez, what a mess this game is.
There’s a bit of history to the game’s development, some legal drama and whatnot. But who cares about that? I ain’t no stinkin’ journalist! I just want to know if the game is fun, or if it truly deserves its abysmal reputation.
To be clear, I’m not looking for perfection when I play a game. I’m just looking for fun. And whatever fun ‘Duke Nukem Forever’ has to offer is offset by how annoying the game is. From Duke’s tired one liners, to his babes’ gratingly shrill voices, to everyone’s sycophantic stroking of Duke’s, uh, ego – the whole thing’s an unrelenting offense.
I’m glad I played it, though. Sometimes, you see a turd, and you just have to know how stinky that turd is. My curiosity, I’m happy to report, is satisfied, and ‘Duke Nukem Forever’ is one smelly turd. I think I’ll play some of ‘Duke 3D,’ maybe see if I can rescue a bit of Duke’s dignity.
I’ll be back next week with another game from my backlog. Follow along on Twitter, 7pm-ish.